First, let me say - it only seems like a bad idea to have a male sub with identity issues (maybe some denial, a smidge of shame, a few tiny issues from having been...arguably, emotionally abused) -- to see a strong woman therapist, a essentially a surrogate Domme figure, for counseling.
Especially one who happens to be within a year or two of our hero, wish2Kneel, and thus would very definitely fall into the category of "Dominant Female Authority Figure" to what can (pretty honestly) be described as an emotionally stunted and kinda f@#$ed up male-sub-in-the-closet.
But wait - hold on - hear me out.
Seriously.
w2Kneel has this vanilla job issue / thing.
See, when he can manage to let go of his "official" vanilla job and its responsibilities (so essentially, his massive case of workaholicism & hiding-from-life-in-his-job-ism) - w2Kneel is actually a pretty okay guy, as male subs go. He has what are, generally, the same issues a LOT of male subs face. Shame, about their societally-abnormal identity and their 'weird' kinks. Self doubt. A massive deficiency of self care. A historical (and probably ongoing) lack of emotional support. Fears of inadequacy. A desire for emotional recognition. A history of being burned by someone who wanted an ATM instead of a sub. Maybe a nice stable vanilla relationship where they came out to their partner, and were dumped and outed to others as a "freak" (score another one for w2Kneel).
So yeah - when you put all of that stuff aside -- w2Kneel is a nice, relatively normal male submissive guy.
...
...
Which is to say, he could SERIOUSLY benefit from some attentive and ongoing focus on his mental health. Preferably from a professional. With a license. Not necessarily involving medication, but definitely by someone familiar with the lifestyle.
And guess what most sex-positive, kink-aware therapists are?
Yep. Female (identified). So there's the start of our little recruiting pool for w2Kneel ... most of the kink-aware, sex-positive therapists are female identified, and the ones who have don't already have full client lists, are younger...right around w2Kneel's age.
...
But w2Kneel, he's not stupid, right? He could still find a male therapist to talk to, and avoid the whole "hey, you submit to women, so you probably shouldn't have a female authority figure as a therapist," Freudian issue, right? He could talk to another guy about his various issues, right?
Yeah. Uhm. About that.
We mentioned before (somewhere, I think, maybe...pretty sure?) -- that w2Kneel works in law enforcement.
He's no longer a street officer - he's an instructor now (not a FTO if you're in LE, an RTO/RTC). Which is to say - he's an Authority Figure. Young for one, too. And in a Male Dominated Field -- that would make him a recognizable Male Authority Figure. In fact, let's go ahead and separate the two identities, just to be clear .... we have our nice, normal, (mentally and emotionally stunted fuckup) w2Kneel... and then we have our Male Authority Figure...let's call him Male AuThoriTy figure, hmmm, Matt. (Shut up. It makes sense. It's not arranging letters to fit...nooooo, not at all. Shut up.)
So Matt, he's been in law enforcement since graduating college at the tender age of 20. He picked up graduate degrees over the years. Plural. He made supervising rank and field instructor in his first agency after a few years, and transferred to a new agency, made field training officer again and then regional training officer. Matt is just into his 30's. Matt is quiet. Matt doesn't talk much. Which he has been recently told apparently (unintentionally) adds to some kind of bullshit "mysterious quality". (If we had known there was such a thing, w2Kneel and Matt both would have made it a point to talk about stamp collecting and Onanism to every single fucking person daily, from the janitors to the internal affairs clerks. 'Mysterious quality', my ass. We just don't have anything worth saying most of the time.)
And Matt, see, he doesn't have much of a life either. He's kind of a loser, really, since his work personality doesn't exactly match the "Him" of his dating or social life (when he ever has either of those) -- so out of self defense from the clutches of the evil and vile matchmaking harpies at his Agency office, he spends most of his time actively busy constantly focused on work. A looot of work. The result is, "the reward for a hard job done well, is a harder job." Which is just SUUUUPER frustrating for wish2Kneel, because it means even more "recognition" as a "strong, competent masculine role model".
*whine* And wish2kneel isn't even ONE of those "macho" law enforcement guys! There's not a single whiff of eau du macho! He doesn't have a single ThinBlueLine colored curse word on a bumper sticker! He's sandy haired! Pale! (Okay, he's a gym rat, but he's a runner, not a weight lifter!) He's not even tall! He's got five years on his current partner, and at 5'9 she's got two inches on him before she even puts on heels! It's not fair! *whine*
...
Sorry. Obviously, wish2Kneel and Matt have a few things still unaddressed in therapy.
....
So, anyway. Matt. Matt is the problem. (that Male Authority Figure bastard.) Matt has to be balanced with w2Kneel, for life to move on. (I mean, that's kind of the theme of the blog here, if you t'ain't noticed.)
And seeing a male therapist, no matter how sex positive or kink positive ... that's gonna be really uncomfortable on the few days when Matt is waxing high and w2Kneel is waning low. Matt gives orders, and he doesn't talk to people, and he definitely doesn't discuss his feelings. Whereas w2Kneel...he pretty much does whatever he's told (eventually) by a trusted Female Authority Figure. Which makes therapy challenging...but (by cheating) - doable. So long as, you know, clear boundaries in w2Kneel's (somewhat) broken little head.
So yeah.
Full circle.
Back to a female therapist, being an authority figure for a male sub.
It makes a kind of sense. I mean, w2Kneel will listen to a female therapist. And god knows, he would use some experience with a female authority figure that is neither manipulative (like his last "girlfriend"), nor degrading and insulting like some Pros, nor harmful (like his first, and last, attempt to have/be honest with a vanilla partner).
To be honest, speaking with a someone honestly and without staring at the floor mumbling is doing wonders for w2Kneel's ability to talk to women other than ones Matt has arrested -- and w2Kneel slowly talking through things is (probably) a healthy thing and will (hopefully) some day make for healthy w2Kneel/Matt life-living-stuff.
Therapy is one of those things a lot of male subs, in this Male Authority Dominated society, could probably use a little bit of. Or, you know, a LOT of. Whichever they can afford.
But, yeah, what doesn't help?
Is when w2Kneel's therapist, who is a very sweet and kind woman who actually has her degree from the same school w2Kneel got his from, and is very knowledgeable about the lifestyle, and has always been very supportive, and very professionally neutral, and never once let her own orientation come into things....
When w2Kneel's therapist, whose orientation w2Kneel had NO FUCKING CLUE about until, you know, this afternoon - when w2Kneel was leaving after a good discussion and some good things, and she so kindly...so nicely...so accidentally, slips up and congratulates w2Kneel on his way out the door by patting him on the shoulder and saying, "good boy...,"....
*sigh*
That. That does not help.
....
Therapy is just going to be such a blast next time, folks.
...
Fuck.
....
Therapists forget things, right?
There's a good chance she'll just forget, and w2Kneel can pretend that wasn't the first hint of emotional approval he's had from a Domme in years...right?
Please?
*sigh*
Fuck.
