Common Sense Closet for sub boys in "That Field" (covering BDSM playtime bruises and marks when you're in law enforcement)

Every one of us in this field should have certain things in the closet.   If you have a Badge, it's a given you have at least some or most of these.  

1.  The Court Suit.   The one you never use for anything else.  You keep it lint rollered, dry cleaned, tie already tied (just loosened enough for your neck to fit in), belt probably still on the pants from last time -- shoes somewhere vaguelly close by, academy shined.  

2.  The Vest.  The raid vest, with all the gear attachments pre-arranged, hanging on the special hangar (because it's probably already broken three or four regular ones) - with a second badge you solo'd from Smith and Warren pinned to it because it's too much effort to keep moving yours from holder to raid vest and back.  Already set to your size, so you can slide it on like a t-shirt, pull the side tabs to tighten, get your buddy to check the straps and hook your radio wire, then get moving. 

3.  The Duty Belt.  Don't both saying you have this in a safe.  You don't.  You might lock up the gear, but the belt is hanging in the closet, or on the edge of a chair, or a silent butler (if you're old school).  With the belt keepers still halfway attached.  And anything non-weapon-issue still in its holsters.

4.  The Tactical Pants/Clothes.   You have'em.  You may not wear'em.   You may even be planning (or may have succeeded, hallelujah!) in giving them away.   But they are or were there.  Because we all started out as boot as F, and bought the $80 5.11's, with the 45° angle back pockets and the side strap none of us can figure out a purpose for, and the side pockets that honestly - are exactly the same as Wrangler Rangers (but not half as well sewn, and three times the price).   

But if you're both law enforcement, and kinky, well... then your closet is missing some stuff. 

Because you don't just need the gear.    Now you need the gear, to hide yourself from other guys' gear.  

(Thank God our field is almost always long sleeve -- even when we're plain clothes)

1.  Base layer mock or actual turtle necks (dry-fit or quick-dry or whichever).  Uniform color, or Neutral.

2. Hatch Neck Guardian (Or PPSS Guard) if your Domme is REALLY bitey

3. Knee Length Compression Shorts - Propper, Galls, Blauer, Condor - NOT Adidas, Under Armor or 5.11

4. Hatch or Propper Sleeve Guards / Sleeve Covers

5. Knee length socks 

Bruising? 

5.11 or Blauer both make Base Layer Mock (or the full) Turtlenecks.  Whether you're uniform service or plain clothes, pick up either uniform color or neutral color ones.   If you're plain clothes, you can still wear one under a polo to look professional, or under a t-shirt on the jump and look close enough to street if it's a concert shirt or a local, non-tourist trap shirt.   They're the same material as under armor so non-police blue ones can pass for just "cold weather under armor" if you're plain clothes, and they dry sweat just about immediately without holding in heat -- so summer or winter, they work.

And work to, you know, conceal those "territorial markings" that decorate from the side of your neck down to wherever your Domme felt like stopping.  

Bruises go even higher on your neck?   *sigh*  (Lucky.   Boast why don't you.) 

Hatch makes a slash guard "Centurian" neck protector.    Even though you could just use a low rise mask (age of COVID), if your uniform doesn't allow for those (most forces right now are mandating plain black face covering masks because a few guys put their politics on their faceguards) -- take a look at https://www.amazon.com/Hatch-Centurion-Kevlar-Protection-Black/dp/B001F6C7JA -- it'll cover just about everything, and I've seen SWAT and MARSHAL service guys wearing them when I've hit houses with them.   Although the Marshal guys generally wear the PPSS versions that run closer to $300. 

Bruises on your ass?   Knee length compression shorts are worth having, and not just because they make your ass look good.   Caning, spanking, whippings, and even (see below) rope work (or some nice rough CBT if that's how you swing -- no shame, brothers of whichever gender) -- base layer compression shorts are a plausible excuse not to strip at the gym, or during a change out before or after going out to serve warrants if you're a field officer.   Nobody looks twice at an officer keeping on a pair of knee length compression shorts between changing from field to street clothes, or uniform to tactical gear.  And they serve dual purpose if you wear a cup/genital protector under them -- protection, and covering up any swelling from last night's CBT party. 

Propper makes a good pair that'll last, Condors aren't bad if they have them in season (some years they make'em, some years they don't), Blauer makes great ones but they aren't cheap -- Galls makes some good generics - although they fit oddly if you're assigned-female-at-birth dressing as male, or vice versa.  Adidas makes ones that are styled by Gender most of the time, and they don't last long through constant wash cycles.   Under Armor is f-ing expensive (sign up for Id.ME if you haven't, tons of savings for LEO and Mil once you verify .... but STILL too expensive.)      Avoid 5.11's -- they're great quality, but they're also about three times the cost you want to pay.  

Rope Marks? 

No problems, we got you.  Rope marks are mainly an issue on the arms -- chest marks can be covered with under armor, and leg marks we'll talk about below. 

Propper makes a sleeve cover up, (as does Hatch) intended for duty use - Propper's is used for compression and warmth (and okay, covering ink when the brass is around), Hatch's is for slash protection.   Both are good to have if you're a street level officer regardless, and even if you're plain clothes it can be worth picking up Hatch's -- they're thin enough to fit under a hoodie.   And without, plain clothes' brethren -- long sleeve shirts (or that base layer under armor) is your friend.

For rope marks on legs - again, knee length compression shorts are worth having at least a pair or two of.    -- and not just for when you change at the gym.   Actually, you can get away with calf length compression shorts depending on where the rope marks are - and depending on whether you /actually/ do go to the gym.   It looks a little suspicious to have calf length (they're useful in cardio, and in no-gi grappling, not much else) compression shorts if you don't actually go to the gym.   For that, stick with just wearing long underwear when it's cold, or knee length socks.   

Have something to add?   I'm always interested in hearing - EM me on Fetlife or Twitter at the same name, or drop me a note on Gmail and I'll be happy to add to the list!  

Transitioning / Dressing 

BTW - if you're living transitioned and un announced as an officer - there's a LOOOT of great ways to dress for that, and to do it successfully.   I partnered with someone who was transitioning and living as a woman (she changed legal names and genders, then changed counties over and was assigned my partner) for nearly two years before we promoted in two different directions.   She's still one of my two calls.  (As in, if you were in prison in a foreign country, who would you call.  Law enforcement on surveillance have a LOOOT of free time to think about this kind of crap.) 

So I'll pick her brain at some point and write a version of this that is probably gonna be more useful than this one.   

Why Doesn't. WtK go to events?

WishtoKneel does go to events.

You don't recognize him.

Which is kind of the point.   And a professional skill. 
(not a bad one to learn, by the way.)



Have you heard of 'once bitten, twice shy'?

How about, 'once burned to flinders, forever shy'? 

My last but one decided that my inability to move with her to another state meant I wasn't a 'twue' submissive, or dedicated enough to 'Her' service. 

So she emailed photos and details about our time in the lifestyle to my father and mother, my partner, my senior supervising Agent, and two old friends from High School.

Essentially, everyone she had an email for in my email address book.

How nice of her.

I lost two of my oldest friends.  My parents still invite me to family affairs - but there's a very definite tone of "it's okay if you can't attend, really." 

It technically violates the code of Ethics we swear an oath to when we take a badge.  Consent, in PA, can't be given for assault.  My supervisor wrote it off as "whatever", since I was (assumably) the one taking all of the assault anyway.   He had a long and very painful (and humiliating) conference with me in his office about whether he needed to be concerned about my predilections for being assaulted spilling over into my professional duties.   And then he informed me that our division's servers had suffered 'another bullshit IT problem', and all incoming emails the day before were lost.  "Recovery don't look great.   Hope you saved anything important.  Now why are you still in my office?  I've gott things to do.  Dismissed."

That was also the day my partner took me out for a beer (a LOT of them) and showed me his Fetlife profile.  And his wife's.  And my clerical manager's (we were seven beers in by then, and I don't remember much other than jokes about our metal detectors). 

It was a day I learned to be outside looking in, and only to trust people in the lifestyle who I already knew or who I'd served with.  Take one in the vest next to me, and then you get to tie me up. 

It was a day I learned that dating was fine - committing to 24/7, not so much.  Photos or videos, never. 

So yes.  I do go to events.  Very rarely, very quietly, and not for long.  Classes too.  I learn.  I take notes.  I play sometimes with one or two people I already know and trust in the lifestyle, if they're available or if they want to see me at their home when I'm not working. 

And no, you won't recognize me.  I probably won't even talk. 

And now you know why.

If you’re going to ask…

I’m very happy to consider myself a service submissive and chew toy.  I help where I can, around my duties as a law enforcement officer.   Which, sorry – those come first.   I’m not bailing out on a duty day to deep clean your house at the last minute.  I realize you have a party tonight.   I have a duty, today.

If you’re going to ask a submissive for something, please remember that we’re human beings, not vending machines for money and services.  I rake leaves and shovel snow for my neighbors when the weather is bad.  I help with wood finishing at my partner’s wife’s business, because she asks and he’s my unit.  I chop firewood for another neighbor on the other side of my block – she’s a 42 year old widow and a Navy veteran with two kids.  Chopping firewood for her kids to have fires (and have a lower heat bill) is the least of her worries. Magically making half a cord of fire wood appear in her firewood is the least I (or anyone) can do.

After that – yes, I’ll help if I can.   I avoid events (once torched to cinders, twice shy), but I will help where I can outside of that.

Just please remember – we’re not vending machines.  We can’t, won’t, or shouldn’t be the types to drop everything to meet you for coffee (and pay for it, and bring you a ‘gift’ tribute) at your beck and call. 

Because if we are that kind of submissive – why would you actually want us?  Isn't that why God invented ATMs?

That’s not a submissive.   That’s a boy who watched a few too many porn movies, and will disappear as soon as he realizes you don’t live in a latex catsuit with the crotch cut out.

In the real world, we’re men who submit because we feel the emotion.   We feel the desire, to find one person who weakens us, cares for us, and takes our service.

In the rest of the world – we’re vending machines. 

Take your pick, Misses.  

Simple Laundry Softener - Easy Recipes for service submissives

You've probably been told to use vinegar before, if you're a home DIYer.

Don't.   Seriously.  You'll make clothes that smell awful and mildew easily.


2 cups white distilled vinegar
4 cups conditioner (ask your Mistress what her favorite scent is - either use a generic of that, or find essential oils and use unscented)
6-12 drops of essential oil, if you didn't use scented conditioner
6 cups boiling water
1/2 cup baking soda


Bring the water to a boil (use a pot, microwave won't do it) and then put into a big metal bowl to preserve the heat and to leave room for everything else.   If you have it, a Kitchen-Aide mixer is great for this - it's what I use when I'm making it for a gift for Domme's in my life.

Mix in the baking soda first, and then the conditioner.   You may need to heat the conditioner slightly (30-40 seconds in a glass measuring cup in the microwave) if it's especially thick.   Stir thoroughly until mixed entirely.   Keep it hot, so move quickly.  If you're using the mixer, leave it on low and just leave it on the entire time. 

You may have to use a silicone spatula.  That's fine - just don't "splat" it into the bowl.  You're going to get covered like that. 

Add the essential oil if needed.   Do it AFTER the conditioner.   Seriously, it won't spread completely otherwise.   Reheat if you need to at this point, but do it gently.  Very gently. 

Pour in the vinegar.   SLOWLY.  You're mixing vinegar and baking soda - you will get bubbling. 

Again.  Pour it SLOWLY, and the other ingredients will minimize the bubbling.   Keep wisking or mixing while you do it. 

AGAIN.   Pour it SLOWLY.   You remember those lava tubes you made as a kid?  Don't turn your kitchen into one. 

Keep mixing until entirely mixed in.

Let it set. 

No, seriously.   Let it set, or you're going to have an exploding bottle.

Use a nicer bottle from a craft store for it.   You can find large, sealing bottles for cheap at those stores (or Wal-Mart or Target) and they're re-usable.  Worth the investment - re-using a plastic container for this makes for a short life for the container. 

Use a half cup per wash.

Done.  Hopefully you get "good boy", or at least some bites.

Good luck, and may the clean kitchen be with you,

WtK

Simple Laundry Soap - Easy Recipes for service submissives

3 Cups of Water
1/2 Cup of Washing Soda (see the next for how to make it)
1/2 Cup Generic Dishwashing Liquid (ask your mistress what scent she likes)
1/2 cup Borax


Bring three cups of water to a boil, either on a disposable pot on the stove, or in a microwavable bowl or measuring cup.   I use a 4 cup measuring cup - cheap, re-usable, sterilizable and good to have for other things.

Slowly stir in washing soda and borax, and wisk until dissolved.

Add in dishwashing liquid, stir until you get a nice thick soup.

Pour into an old (and thoroughly cleaned, soap and HOT water, boys) laundry detergent bottle.  Use a single set amount per wash.   It works beautifully, and simply.

You can use a nicer container if you want to be fancier - you'll see the next post has some things about that. 

Go Pinterest how to make one. 

Seriously, go Pinterest it. 

I know you're a sub male (straight or otherwise).   Suck it up.   I'm not Pinterest, I'm WtK.

Good luck, and good bitey-toying,

WtK

Play friendly massage oil - Easy Recipes for service submissives

Just to start brothers and sisters in subbie-ness – if you don’t know what scent your Mistress likes, you should submit yourself for remonstration.   Which is a big word for “punishment”.  

If you still don’t though – try something unscented to start with, and ask Her after you’ve helped Her relax properly.

A word of free warning for the slower boys?    No matter what you want – don’t use honey.   Or sugar.  Or juices.  Or chocolate, whipped cream, or flavored lubes.   You seriously risk giving Her an infection, or a chemical burn, or making a mess that She won’t thank you for.   This massage should be for Her, not for your libido.

Two recipes then – one all natural and edible (and mouth friendly…just sayin - ^.^;;; ) and the other made from a non-edible base that works reaaaally well for slippery times.   Clear Her preference with Her before using either.  

Mostly Edible Massage Oil 

1/2 cup coconut oil

3 drops vitamin E oil

2-3 drops essential oil  (if you know Her taste.  Look over https://www.planttherapy.com/blog/2014/01/14/can-essential-oils-be-ingested/ before you hit the store. )

    Warm the coconut oil slowly in a fondue pot, or in a small glass measuring cup using the microwave.   If microwaving, use 2-3 second bursts – you want to soften it, not melt it.    A great tool for this is one of the self-warming waxing pots set on low – you can find them on Amazon.  Use a disposable wooden flat (NOT a spoon) or a metal skewer to work the vitamin E oil into the warmed coconut oil.   (Again, WARMED, not melted or liquid).

    If you’re truly a service sub to a Mistress – learning to wax and having the equipment is a good investment.   The wooden flats they come with are perfect disposable pieces for stirring one-time-use massage oil.   

 Penetration Massage Oil

1/4 cup pre-mixed J-lube.  ( For directions on how to make this incredibly useful boy-supply – see the next time I write.  ^.^ )

2-3 drops essential oil (see above and remember – this massage might get…penetrate-ey.   For Her, or for you – as She pleases.  Pay attention to what oils can be ingested – they can generally also be inserted.   Avoid cinnamon and clove like the plague.   Trust this boy on that.) 

    As above, warm slowly in a fondue pot, or a small glass measuring cup in the microwave unless you have a wax warmer.   If you have that (and why don’t you, stupid boy?) then use the warmer – it keeps things warm.

Tips

Apply the oil with slow, even strokes that follow the muscle line, beginning at the core of the body, leading pressure towards the core of the body with pressure on the front of the hand, and returning outwards with pressure on the palm.  Reverse the motion slowly as Her skin begins to warm and redden.  Use gentle (and slowly strengthening) kneading motions on shoulders, buttocks, inner thighs and the back of the neck.  Pay close attention to Her signals – it’s a massage, not foreplay.   As in everything, let Her lead and trust Her desires. 

As a service boy (or girl), consider taking a class – I (and many servants I know) have taken several and it’s generally worthwhile.   Check into the qualifications of the instructor, or into the organization offering the classes.   Skip the “sensual lovers’ massage” courses and look for something that will last more than an hour on the weekend.  Preferably something at least a full 8-10 hours a day for a weekend – or 4 hours a day for 2-3 weekends.  Isn’t She worth it? 

For what I said earlier on waxing – there are (pathetically few and rare) classes available on giving waxing on the body and almost none for the genitals.   In some states you can take the training for it through state certified classes without having to study for an entire cosmetology license.  If you just do a stand along class, check the instructor’s training and go with someone who is certified by a state or legitimate board of examination.   Doing things the wrong way in this kind of service can cause even worse infections and health problems for Her than the chocolate whipped cream.   

If you learn it well and learn to do it painlessly, it becomes an incredible plus in your value to Her, and Her friends or future Mistresses. 

And as always –

Focus on the Service, not the sex.  

FinDom is a fetish.

It just isn’t mine.

After a year or less of being on Twitter, and a few years on Fetlife, I’ve learned something about male submission and finally accepted something about the scene.   (Thanks in part to DieKonigin on FL, thank you…Miss.)

I’m also not a slave to Femdom.   Or at least, not to how the majority of Dommes I’ve met have defined it.  Many of us have this shared mental image that all boys have to accept that FinDom (financial domination) is just part of being a man in a submissive relationship.   It’s wrong..   And blinding.   And unhealthy. 

FinDom is a fetish.   Some boys, if they’re educated about it and choose it, find it to be a great thing.   It usually seems to go hand in hand with blackmail fetishes, humiliation, a strict interpretation of FemDom (and a twisted interpretation of Goddess worship) and degradation. 

If that is your thing, brother boys, then have at it.   Go tither and gift your Princesses.   Let consensual wallet rape-ery spread forth unto the land and bring harmony to all whom so ever desireth.   Let there be commerce. 

If you’re a sub male or boy and you don’t desire it – then don’t do it.   Seriously.   Don’t let the “common understanding” sucker you into it.  Don’t let the young ladies who tantalize with their barely clad bottoms and promises of “teaching” you how to submit “the right way” taint your self-esteem.

Too many of us wind up in the trap of thinking that our only value to a Dominant is as a wallet or an ATM.   I wound up trapped there with a previous girlfriend and trust me – there’s not much more that will destroy your desire to continue being submissive.   Thankfully that didn’t last long – my partner at work is lifestyle, and he had his (Dominant) wife straighten me out.   My wallet is much healthier now, if you’re wondering. 

Your relationship may be different.   Your mileage may vary.   Your.  Uhm.  Thing, may be.  Uhm.  Something.  

Don’t get trapped into thinking that it has to be one true way.   And make sure you attend events with older, non-horny-puppy sub men so that you can see different types of submission.  If the event is run by a group – green for go.   If the event is run by a group of FinDoms – do a little research and budgeting first. 

FemDom culture, and male submissive culture (they’re two different things, I swear!) have an unhealthy undercurrent of financial domination – and that needs to be called out.   (I’m a non SJW who just said “called out”.   I feel like such a fraud.)

You can be a submissive gentleman without paying all of someone’s bills for them.   That’s not submission – that’s being a sugar daddy.

You can be a service sub without paying for someone’s home renovations.  

And you can bottom to a Top without bringing Tribute and gifts for every play session.

I know it’s hard to separate the concept of being submissive from feeling the constant need to prove your worth.    But the scene has been sending the message to our sisters for years that their submission IS their worth.

Now we just need to seize that message for ourselves.