Play friendly massage oil - Easy Recipes for service submissives

Just to start brothers and sisters in subbie-ness – if you don’t know what scent your Mistress likes, you should submit yourself for remonstration.   Which is a big word for “punishment”.  

If you still don’t though – try something unscented to start with, and ask Her after you’ve helped Her relax properly.

A word of free warning for the slower boys?    No matter what you want – don’t use honey.   Or sugar.  Or juices.  Or chocolate, whipped cream, or flavored lubes.   You seriously risk giving Her an infection, or a chemical burn, or making a mess that She won’t thank you for.   This massage should be for Her, not for your libido.

Two recipes then – one all natural and edible (and mouth friendly…just sayin - ^.^;;; ) and the other made from a non-edible base that works reaaaally well for slippery times.   Clear Her preference with Her before using either.  

Mostly Edible Massage Oil 

1/2 cup coconut oil

3 drops vitamin E oil

2-3 drops essential oil  (if you know Her taste.  Look over https://www.planttherapy.com/blog/2014/01/14/can-essential-oils-be-ingested/ before you hit the store. )

    Warm the coconut oil slowly in a fondue pot, or in a small glass measuring cup using the microwave.   If microwaving, use 2-3 second bursts – you want to soften it, not melt it.    A great tool for this is one of the self-warming waxing pots set on low – you can find them on Amazon.  Use a disposable wooden flat (NOT a spoon) or a metal skewer to work the vitamin E oil into the warmed coconut oil.   (Again, WARMED, not melted or liquid).

    If you’re truly a service sub to a Mistress – learning to wax and having the equipment is a good investment.   The wooden flats they come with are perfect disposable pieces for stirring one-time-use massage oil.   

 Penetration Massage Oil

1/4 cup pre-mixed J-lube.  ( For directions on how to make this incredibly useful boy-supply – see the next time I write.  ^.^ )

2-3 drops essential oil (see above and remember – this massage might get…penetrate-ey.   For Her, or for you – as She pleases.  Pay attention to what oils can be ingested – they can generally also be inserted.   Avoid cinnamon and clove like the plague.   Trust this boy on that.) 

    As above, warm slowly in a fondue pot, or a small glass measuring cup in the microwave unless you have a wax warmer.   If you have that (and why don’t you, stupid boy?) then use the warmer – it keeps things warm.

Tips

Apply the oil with slow, even strokes that follow the muscle line, beginning at the core of the body, leading pressure towards the core of the body with pressure on the front of the hand, and returning outwards with pressure on the palm.  Reverse the motion slowly as Her skin begins to warm and redden.  Use gentle (and slowly strengthening) kneading motions on shoulders, buttocks, inner thighs and the back of the neck.  Pay close attention to Her signals – it’s a massage, not foreplay.   As in everything, let Her lead and trust Her desires. 

As a service boy (or girl), consider taking a class – I (and many servants I know) have taken several and it’s generally worthwhile.   Check into the qualifications of the instructor, or into the organization offering the classes.   Skip the “sensual lovers’ massage” courses and look for something that will last more than an hour on the weekend.  Preferably something at least a full 8-10 hours a day for a weekend – or 4 hours a day for 2-3 weekends.  Isn’t She worth it? 

For what I said earlier on waxing – there are (pathetically few and rare) classes available on giving waxing on the body and almost none for the genitals.   In some states you can take the training for it through state certified classes without having to study for an entire cosmetology license.  If you just do a stand along class, check the instructor’s training and go with someone who is certified by a state or legitimate board of examination.   Doing things the wrong way in this kind of service can cause even worse infections and health problems for Her than the chocolate whipped cream.   

If you learn it well and learn to do it painlessly, it becomes an incredible plus in your value to Her, and Her friends or future Mistresses. 

And as always –

Focus on the Service, not the sex.  

FinDom is a fetish.

It just isn’t mine.

After a year or less of being on Twitter, and a few years on Fetlife, I’ve learned something about male submission and finally accepted something about the scene.   (Thanks in part to DieKonigin on FL, thank you…Miss.)

I’m also not a slave to Femdom.   Or at least, not to how the majority of Dommes I’ve met have defined it.  Many of us have this shared mental image that all boys have to accept that FinDom (financial domination) is just part of being a man in a submissive relationship.   It’s wrong..   And blinding.   And unhealthy. 

FinDom is a fetish.   Some boys, if they’re educated about it and choose it, find it to be a great thing.   It usually seems to go hand in hand with blackmail fetishes, humiliation, a strict interpretation of FemDom (and a twisted interpretation of Goddess worship) and degradation. 

If that is your thing, brother boys, then have at it.   Go tither and gift your Princesses.   Let consensual wallet rape-ery spread forth unto the land and bring harmony to all whom so ever desireth.   Let there be commerce. 

If you’re a sub male or boy and you don’t desire it – then don’t do it.   Seriously.   Don’t let the “common understanding” sucker you into it.  Don’t let the young ladies who tantalize with their barely clad bottoms and promises of “teaching” you how to submit “the right way” taint your self-esteem.

Too many of us wind up in the trap of thinking that our only value to a Dominant is as a wallet or an ATM.   I wound up trapped there with a previous girlfriend and trust me – there’s not much more that will destroy your desire to continue being submissive.   Thankfully that didn’t last long – my partner at work is lifestyle, and he had his (Dominant) wife straighten me out.   My wallet is much healthier now, if you’re wondering. 

Your relationship may be different.   Your mileage may vary.   Your.  Uhm.  Thing, may be.  Uhm.  Something.  

Don’t get trapped into thinking that it has to be one true way.   And make sure you attend events with older, non-horny-puppy sub men so that you can see different types of submission.  If the event is run by a group – green for go.   If the event is run by a group of FinDoms – do a little research and budgeting first. 

FemDom culture, and male submissive culture (they’re two different things, I swear!) have an unhealthy undercurrent of financial domination – and that needs to be called out.   (I’m a non SJW who just said “called out”.   I feel like such a fraud.)

You can be a submissive gentleman without paying all of someone’s bills for them.   That’s not submission – that’s being a sugar daddy.

You can be a service sub without paying for someone’s home renovations.  

And you can bottom to a Top without bringing Tribute and gifts for every play session.

I know it’s hard to separate the concept of being submissive from feeling the constant need to prove your worth.    But the scene has been sending the message to our sisters for years that their submission IS their worth.

Now we just need to seize that message for ourselves.   

Unpleasant Rant

I'm sorry.   This rant is going to be confused.   There's a lot of confliction here.  I'm working it out as I type.   I'm not ranting about politics - don't care about politics - this is about the "culture" of some male-sub-peoples. 

Yes, I got into an argument with another boy, at a private event.   It was held by a friend who is a fellow officer, and not exactly liberal - so WishToKneel haz no ideaz how teh otter boy waz invited.  This rant is mostly from the things he said.   But also from some things I've been seeing, that are really making it hard to figure things out for myself. 

And I've been hearing both sides of this kind of thing for a while - but what I hear and what I see are two different things.   And as someone in a profession where observation is the thing - I'm starting to think the culture of a lot of male-sub-dom is skewed more towards the "blind acceptance" side than the "be yourself" side. 

I respect the opinion of a Domme.   I respect your Domme's opinion, as a fellow sub or boy or whatever we are.    I'll even respect your opinion, even if you are being snotty about it.   I'm the type of person who will respect someone period.  But respect is NOT blind acceptance.

I am NOT FemDom (not the way you seemed to define it while you were busy telling me that I'll "never get a Domme"), and I will not change my orientation or my personal beliefs because a dominant female loudly proclaims her "truth".    Or because you trumpet it for her.   

And seriously.   Who says "get a Domme"?    Aren't they supposed to get you?  

I am not the kind of boy to kiss the ground every single female walks on, and parrot whatever beliefs I think will ingratiate me with the latest woman with attractive photos that I've seen.  

But.   Anyway.   Uhm.   (Ranting, right.   Ranting.   Focus on the rant, not the irritation and now apparently questioning your submissive worth.) 

Apparently I'm not a "real sub" or a "real boy" if I'm not a social justice warrior waving the flag of Tumblr or twitter feminism and worshipping any youtube rant any woman ever has made about how worthless I am for being male.    And I'm supposed to hate-flame people like Blaire White, and accept any belief espoused by an attractive FemDom or female Dominant as if it were holy writ.   And God help me if I don't "love" every post by every female ever on my twitter.  (I don't even know why I have one.) 

I had a LOT of issues when I first started here.   Still working through them.   I lost a lot, including my first Domme, because I wasn't the right kind of "boy".   I lost my self respect for a while there, and I'm still finding pieces of it scattered all over.   I have a good partner (work partner, not the other kind) who's lifestyle and helps. 

I don't need your freaking judgement on my worth as a boy.   I don't need your pissyness (and really, what boy or man is happy about being "pissy"?!) because I don't agree with your philosophies and politics, or the politics and edicts of your Domme.

I'm still figuring out who I am, and what I am in this lifestyle.   And how to link that with the other me.

But I know damned well what I am outside of it.   And I'm not the type to just accept someone's views and edicts because they're Dominant.    Or because their Dominant is a Dominant. 
So stop sub-shaming (or boy-shaming?   need a word here, help?) me because I don't have the "right" beliefs to be a "good boy".    Not having a Mistress has nothing to do with my beliefs, politically or ethically.  

And changing your belief system in order to "get" a Mistress?

That sounds like a personal problem.  You should get that looked at. 

Or maybe that's just the culture of male submission in my area. 

If it is?   

Sorry, not sorry.

W2K 

Cheater Boy's Brownies for Mistress - Easy Recipes for Service submissives

1 Box of Fudge Brownie Mix
2 Large eggs
14 oz (one medium bag) of caramels
1/2 cup of evaporated milk
     (Just a good boy note - seriously, there's a difference between this and sweetened condensed
         milk.   Don't try and get clever - you'll wind up needing an entirely new set of kitchenware.)
1/3 Cup of Vegetable Oil
1/2 Cup of Filtered water
1 Egg Yolk 
1 Cup of Chocolate Chunks (chunks, not chips) 



To separate an egg yolk from its white - you can either use a cheap silicone toy that they make and sell on amazon for $5...or you can learn a new skill. 

And seriously, who doesn't want a sub boy with new skills?  >.<

Crack the egg in half carefully in the middle, width wise, and gentle roll the yolk back and forth between the two pieces, letting the white drain a little more with every roll.   Be vewwwwy gentle...(you're hunting wabbits) - - - or you'll break the yolk and have to try again.

Preheat the oven to 350.   Make sure the metal grate is in the middle rack in the oven.  

Spray down at 9 x 9 (for thicker, chunkier brownies) or a 13 x 9 (for thinner, chewier brownies)

Now blend the eggs, water and oil (preferably in a large Kitchen-Aid - if you don't have one use a whisk and a loooot of elbow grease.    It will work out your arms and give you nice pretty forearms for Mistress to cuff.   Trust me.  

Or it'll make your arms hurt and possibly cause tennis elbow (aka, lonely male in basement elbow).  But probably not.  Probably. 

Now get your mind out of the gutter, and whip the mixture.   Once the mixture is beaten to a slight froth and a uniform golden color, fold into the (cheater) brownie mix.   Fold it with a silicone spatula, not a whisk.   If you don't have a silicone spatula that hasn't been used on your ass - then next time buy one just for cooking!   (And behave more often.)

Pour half of the mixture into the bottom of the pan and put it somewhere away from the heat. 

Now pour the evaporated milk into a medium pan, and slowly fold in the caramels over a low-medium heat.   Keep the mix constantly moving, and lower the heat if you see any bubbles, or heavy steam.   Use a silicone spatula and constantly fold.   Once the mixture is melted evenly, pour slowly and gently over the layer of brownie in the pan.    Drizzle if if you have to, but keep the two layers as separate as possible.  

Pour on the last of the brownie mix and smooth carefully.    Place in the oven, and bake for 20 minutes.    Check the surface of the brownies for a finished texture - if nothing, then increase by five minute increments until the surface of the brownies looks finished.   It should be between 30 and 35 minutes total - checking every five minutes is a tool used because every oven holds heat differently.

Take out and set it aside, away from the heat, with the pan on a cooling rack.  

Once cooled to a warm (rather than hot) temperature - push the chocolate chunks down into the top layer of the brownie gently.    Give it another few minutes to cool further - and then cut carefully into 2" x 2" squares and serve with milk, hot chocolate, or cider.  

Mistress' Real Hot Chocolate - Easy Recipes for Service submissives

So, yes.    This one takes a little work.   If you are blessed enough to have a Mistress - you're blessed enough to consider the "work" as an offering and something pleasant.   If you think it's a chore...you probably need to do a little mindfulness work.   Or maybe talk it out with your Mistress.   (and hope she doesn't have a whip.  ^.^)

3 bars of Lindt's dark (at least 72%) chocolate or
    3 bars of Hershey's Chocolate and 2 Tbsp Dark Baking Cocoa
1.5 Cups of Whole Milk
1 Cup of Heavy Cream
     Marshmallows


Melt the chocolate in a bain marie (double boiler, to the non cooking peoples) slowly.  If you're using the Hershey's instead of Lindt, then melt only the bars - hold back the cocoa.

Warm the milk in a deep pot or pan over a low heat.   If using Hershey's, add the cocoa to the milk as it warms slowly, whisking repeatedly to keep the cocoa dissolving and keep milk from solidifying on the bottom.    Add half of the heavy cream, and continue slowly whisking over low heat until steaming.

Pour the milk and cream mixture into the pot used for the chocolate, stirring briskly with the whisk.   Use the last of the heavy cream to bring the temperature down from scathing to something your Mistress will enjoy drinking.

Add marshmallows as she pleases.   The marshmallows also do a great job of sweetening if you melt them into the mixture, if the chocolate comes out too dark.

NOTE:

A great addition to this, if your Mistress drinks?   A tiny bit of Chambord.   It's a raspberry liqueur that goes into a drink fairly mellowly.

Do You Know, What It Feels Like In This World...

For a Male Submissive?   It feels like…

Half of our brothers are horn dog do-me subs that crowd out our questioning voices and make us feel ashamed of who we are inside.

&

The other half are either just as lost as we are – or have advice that helps with information, but doesn’t ‘help’ with the fear or the questioning.

Half of the females we meet in the scene look like they immediately attach the “creepy” label to our names when we offer to shake hands.

&

The other half are either awkward around us, or have little idea how to just talk to us.  

Half of our families might disown us if they knew.  

&

The other half definitely would.

Half of the Dominant women out there are of the mind that humiliation is the only "twue" way to talk to us.    (I already have issues with being submissive – I don’t need the humiliation too.)

&

The other half have had such bad experiences with do-me subs that we often vanish into the aether. 

Half of the Pro Dommes and sex workers out there view us as ATMs.  (Not the good ones – but a LOT of the rest)

&

The other half are honest about it being a business – but have to weed through so many do-me subs that it’s hard to talk to them. 

Half of society views us as weak.  Or sick.  Or gay (not in a homosexual way…in a dude-bro way).  Or as cuckolds.  Or as failed men.   Or…

&

The other half views us as something overly romanticized (whether good or bad) and that makes it hard to be seen as a real person.

Half of the BDSM world feels like it’s made up of the ‘beauteous’ female submissives, and long sonnets about how wonderful they are – while male subs are the creepy ones.

&

The other half feels like it’s made up of beautiful female Dommes – and then we feel like we can’t measure up.  

Half the adult videos out there translate “male submissive” into “forced-bi, cuckolding, cross-dressing freaky boy”.  

&

The other half show us bleeding.   A lot.  From all kinds of unique impliments.   And body parts.  (and occasionally anally, from very rubbery – or very flesh and cartilage-ey implements).  

Half of the movies out there paint us with the broad brush of being weak, whipped, or cross dressers.

&

The other half aren’t in English.   Or from our culture. 

Half of the vanilla women out there would end any relationship that involved us trying to open up about our feelings.

&

The other half would get into it “for you”, then find someone else once they find out how much power a female Domme has in the American scene. 

I know it’s not that black and white.   I’m being cynical.  This – this is the lens a lot of us see through.  Especially at the beginning - and those first steps make lasting scars. 

I’m not speaking for all male subs.   I’m not even trying.   Some scene people will talk to us.   Brothers, Dominas, and Dommes – they’re rare, but they are there.   To those who have been there – thank you.  

But Dommes?   As many do-me subs flood your mailbox – I get just as many ‘tribute-me’ emails, and get flooded with just as many ‘go-away’ responses or get just plain ignored. 

We’re people.   We have kinks, we have fetishes – but we’re people.   Yes, there are a lot of do-me types.   We’re not all like that – and defending myself for their behavior is getting old. 

So uhmm, yeah.   That’s what it can feel like to be a male submissive. 

Sucks sometimes, huh?  

On Service

Service involves your heart.
It involves your soul.
It involves your emotional well being, poured into an action and vulnerable to its results.

It does not involve your penis.

Thank you.